three times missed me!

So, I’ve been very absent.

Why oh why I do I continue to let you all down and desert you and make you feel lost without my posts so often?

Well, I’ve been working on an audition tape for ABC3 (the new ABC channel) and it’s been taking up far too much of my time and also I am going to Melbourne next week and I went to Adelaide just a few weeks ago and my audition tape will be posted here asap! (after applications close next week – so no one steals my fabulous ideas and witty humour! )

I’ve missed you.

Be back with a FABULOUS post to accompany my Melbournian travels and ABC audition tape in a weeks time!

XOXO

kitty lickin’ good

This is a little bit different to my usual posts, but it was too funny NOT to share!

Last night two of our cats, Billy and Ringo (aka Butt*) were asleep on the couch next to eachother and Butt kept trying to lick Billy.

Let it be known that Billy and Butt usually don’t get along very well, and for Butt to get as close as he did, before the licking started, was unusual enough. And very cute. And very funny.

We FINALLY managed to get it on film, and the result was posted by my sister on YouTube (so I apologise for her bad spelling in the captions).

So, without further ado:

Kitty Lickin’ Good (with commentary by myself, my sister Chloe and my friend Yuki):
(Butt is the black one, Billy is the brown tabby.)

If that didn’t work, you can catch the clip on YouTube right here.

Until later!

*Ringo was nicknamed Butt shortly after we got him because he had no fur on his behind (and looked like a baboon) and it kinda stuck.

ABC i love you, but you’re bringing me down…

Last night I turned on the television to discover there was no Chaser! “WHAT IS THIS?” I exclaimed, outraged.
And then my sister informed me that it was not just cancelled this week, but also next!

HOW COULD YOU ABC? How could you, my favourie channel, deprive me of my favourite television programme for not just one week, but two?!?! And when I’d been so excited about their return to television only two weeks ago!

Now, if you’ve been living under a rock, you probably wouldn’t know about the big controversy over a skit the Chaser performed in their second episode in this EPIC series return to my absolute best and favourite television station!

fig 1: Georgia’s heros

The skit was a parody of the Make A Wish foundation, in which they referred to the charity as the “Make A Realistic Wish Foundation” and they sang a little song about how it wasn’t worth putting in alot of effort into making sick kid’s wishes come true, because they were going to die anyways. (If you haven’t seen it, I’m sure you can find it SOMEWHERE on YouTube, but it has been removed from the Chaser’s website.)

Now, there’s no doubt that the skit was in rather bad taste, and the Chaser has taken full responsibility, apologised and suggested everyone offended make a donation to the Make A Wish foundation. But really, isn’t that what we’ve come to expect from this amazing troop of soldiers?

So, did the ABC have to CANCEL the show for two weeks? Honestly, the Chaser has offended a million times before, made a million apologies and their criminal records put Voldemort to shame! They’re not going to STOP just because you pull them off the air for a few weeks! Hell, you could pull them off the air permanently, and they’d find a way to secretly broadcast themselves to the world!

So why make me suffer for two weeks without them? They are still going to offend, it’s what they do! They WANT to offend you, and the more you’re offended, the more ammunition you give them.
And by stirring up the public, they create debate, discussion and provide a public service by performing scrutiny upon all political and public sectors of society to “keep the bastards honest”, because seriously, the Democrats aren’t exactly doing much in that realm now days!

And sure, the Chaser may be doing it in the most offensive and vulgar way possible, but that’s because they were jaded law and political science students, much like myself, and I have long dreamed of joining forces with them one day in the future, in order to do my duty for my nation by making a public nuisance of myself, annoying the SHIT out of the pollies and earning myself a sweet-deal criminal record in the process. Because there is really no doubt that what they do is as fun as it looks on the telly!

But, all I really wanted to say was this: you can whinge and complain and rant about the Chaser all you want, but they are a force that are tough to beat. A force that will one day be invinsible! (When I join them.)

Until such a time,
xoxo
Georgia

p.s. geez KRudd, you’re no fun! We want a PM with a sense of humour! Or atleast one that’s fun to hate. We were so lucky to have someone who provided as much amusement as little Johnny, why can’t you be more like him? Huh, KRudd, huh? And don’t you dare try to use that $900 you just deposited into my bank account as some sort of bribe to get me to lighten up on you! BE MORE FUN!

it’s britney, bitch!

BRITNEY SPEARS IS COMING TO AUSTRALIA!

I have been waiting for this day since I was pre-tween! Can you believe it? So excite!

In my excitement, I have created the following masterpiece, of all the people in my life who are super psyched about Britney’s visit to Australia! (to be added to)

tall, skinny, beautiful girls don’t need big personalities!

i.o.u. 1x big ranty funtimes blog about Australia’s Next Top Model… after I sleep.

Kan du hjelpe meg? Eurovision 2009

Ah Eurovision, you are beautiful, you are wonderful, you gave us ABBA and you gave us Lordi and you gave us those crazy Lativans who sang about being Wolves of the Sea. You are perfect, dear Eurovision.

Infact, dearest Eurovision love, you have managed to top yourself this year, because you gave Europe (and the world, aka me) this perfect manboy:

And for this, Eurovision, I thank you profusely. For bestowing this perfect Norwegian hottie violin dancey crazy man upon us to admire and love and adore and, well frankly, drool over for always and forever, I thank you.

Infact, this years Eurovision was pretty epic. But did anyone else notice the severve lack of comedy acts? Were they just swept under the rug in the semi finals this year? Because I did notice their absence and I did miss them so!

So I’m going to recap my favourite moments of Eurovision this year, rather than rant on about the perfection that is Alexander Rybak for the rest of the post! (But let it be known, he was my favourite moment ever.)

Ok, so I loved the opening act. I loved Mr Russian Hottie who won last years Eurovision Contest, I loved it when he was hoisted into the air, I loved his wardrobe malfunction (even if it wasn’t quite as epic as Janet Jackson’s all those years ago) and I loved how he pulled off those tight white pants and tight white (leather?) shirt and sang his winning song from 2008 and ran through those white wall things and broke them to represent his life.

I also really liked that he managed to get hot since the last time we saw him! I’m pretty sure I remember him being kinda average looking…

I just thought this lady was awesome. She was singing way too fast for me to even consider translating, although I got the title, something like “Why Must I/We…” It was awesome, she was awesome.

Portugal, with their bright, psychadelic swirls that would scare even Austin Powers were so cute and so happy and how could you not want to run up there and rip the shoes from that lady’s feet and put them on your own feet? HOW COULD YOU NOT?

Greece, with his giant hair straightener/tanning bed/stapler/bright shiney building blocks thing and his exposed stomach and the way he kept touching himself. He was there for all the ladies, and the men… and the lady-mans, too. Greece was greasy sex.

Russia’s entry this year was a little too deep and profound for Eurovision in my opinion, but man she did a better Sinead O’Conner than Sinead O’Conner! (and atleast she had hair, Sinead!) I liked the ageing effects they gave to giant screen Russian-singer-lady, on the giant screens. Profound, deep, pretentious, Russian.

Iceland’s entry was referred to as “three minutes of perfect pop” and I have to agree. She was cute, the song was cute, and everything about the set up was just plain cute! I really don’t have anything else to say on the topic…

I don’t remember what country this is, but I really just liked the green man with the bondage-style sequinned mask on.
And her tutu.
She looks like Nikki Webster.

Estonia was awesome, I want her dress, plskthnx.

Ah Germany, I don’t think you were even represented by a German man. He certainly didn’t sound German when he was interviewed by Julia-lady-from-Rockwiz. And she even accused him of not being able to speak German! I think I can safely conclude: this man is not German.
However, he did manage to pull off silver sequinned pants AND even get Dita Von Teese hot on stage! That takes skill… Bet he’s really Greek or some shit like that.

I don’t quite understand exactly what was intended by this Argentinian show, but it was a floating see-through pool-trampoline thing that I think I want to do… Excuse me whilst I move to Argentina to join the see-through pool-trampoline water circus.

Well, this years Eurovision was certainly epic… Even though I ended up fast forwarding through some songs because they were SO bloody boring or just too fucked up for my eyes. (Malta I’m looking at you here, and Armenia too!)

I liked that parody thing that crazy Russian lady tourist guide did with the “we don’t have bears, we don’t have dictators, we don’t have alcohol” and you could see them all in the background, that was pretty lol.

So that’s all for this tiny mini little small but still epic and a bit lame recap of Eurovision!

Yum…

some vampires hide in canada

the first topic on the agenda is me. and how i am so pleased that the world is (slowly) beginning to recognise me and how absolutely amazing i happen to be. (i just wish it would hurry up!)

proof of this fact came to me in a photo today from my katie, who is in north america (of which we will discuss more further down)

so let me now unveil this photo to all you good, georgia-loving people of the world:

as you can see, my name appears three times on this building. i have even circled them for you in bright yellow for easy spotting. clearly, this building is being built in honour of me and quite clearly that amazing man in the yellow is one of these georgia-worshippers who is helping such a fantastic architectual monument to me be constructed!

so, vancouver (where this building site is), i thank you for your gracious offering to my good self, however i shall be unable to attend the opening ceremony, as i am under high demand and shan’t be able to make it to your fair city.

however, i do promise to pop by sometime in the future! lay out the pink carpet for me!

but enough about me and my building, we have other matters to cover!

we discussed tort law last post. let us continue this. just briefly.

today we studied a case where a rolls royce was involved in two accidents (both the other cars’ fault, not the rolls royce), two weeks apart.

the first accident caused much damage, but the rolls royce wasn’t repaired before the second crash occurred therefore only the guy in the FIRST accident was liable, and not the second.

this sounds a lot like Donna’s (my big blue car) encounter with the pole… because the bumper bar was already damaged (due to a previous ding), i am not liable for the bumper bar, meaning that i only have to claim the broken light. and as a tiny baby, this makes the whole ordeal waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay less expensive, because dad claiming the bumper bar = cheaper than me claiming the bumper bar.

and it turns out, because i applied this real life incident to tort law, i was right.

clearly, my life = tort law. fucking creeping me out.

in other news, katie has departured from canadia, but is still in north america. she is in seattle, being ravaged by vampires and keeping her eye out for werewolves. she’s good at that.

recently she stumbled across the outskirts of the set for new moon, the new twi-movie, in canadia, proving once and for all: canadia is a dangerous, vampire infested country! FEAR IT! or go there and find your sparkly true love and marry him/her and have creepy perfect half breed babies with retarded names.
your choice.

but really, i just miss katie and wish she’d just leave america and come home already, really. i’m counting the days. it’s pretty soon. just over a month now…

in even more news, i want a job at the ABC, if anyone from the ABC (that’s the Australian one, people) happens to read this blog, please give me a job! i shall work for free. i’m good at that.

in some very exciting television news: YAY! YAY! YAY! they’re back! super excited.

and for the shiggles: man china never fails to astound me with its whackness

yeah, i’m an ABC-whore, sue me. or get me a job there. really.

i watched the logies last night, should’ve blogged them, i may attempt to recap them later, but in the mean time i will mention that rebecca gibney won the gold logie and i am thrilled cos she’s pretty freaking awesome and isn’t annoying like those stupid neighbours/home&away stars who really don’t do anything but eventually get killed off the show. yay rebecca gibney!

out.

the law of tort will destroy you

Once again I have been a bad blogger, a very bad blogger. Once again, we can blame law school, and it’s cold, darker-than-black, evil, uncaring, unspare-time-allowing heart. (and a little of real life law)

I have a tort law assignment due in two days and have found myself consumed by a world of negligence, salient features, farfetched fancifulness and a hypothetical idiot named Dr Singh who announced his hypothetical ‘funny turns’, senile, stroke victim patient, Anton, fit to drive a motor vehicle – who consequently crashed his car with his hypothetical idiot ‘my husband is the best driver’ wife, Ludwika, who fractured her elderly hip and suffered severe, old lady neck injuries.

Oh yeah, and I have to represent the idiot hypothetical doctor, by the way.

I can’t help but feel 100% complete sympathy towards poor hypothetical Anton – stuck with a shit hypothetical doctor who is literally ‘practising’ medicine and a retarded hypothetical wife who is clearly just as senile as her hypothetical husband if she thinks he’s ok to drive.

Really, it’s just as much her hypothetical fault as the hypothetical doctors, but I can’t say that, can I? About a poor old hypothetical woman who was probably ‘just supporting’ her hypothetical senile husband.

This whole hypothetical legal case thing is really beginning to hypothetically shit a hypothetical me.

And yet on Saturday at work, I watched as a senile old man – just like hypothetical Anton – reverse his car into the Dome cafe next to work and then accelerate forwards directly into a very expensive, very silver FWD parked opposite. Which makes this whole hypothetical tort law assignment feel oh so less hypothetical and oh so much more real and creepy…

That and the bubble that is Napoleon Street, Cottesloe was completely burst by that little incident – a metaphor for the lives of the rich bubble-people who regular the area, perhaps?

My poor little bubble, I love it so.

Later that night, I was driving on the Freeway with a broken tail light, heavily dented bumper bar, only one (incorrect) P plate displayed and no license on me – only to be pulled over by the cops for “going 90kms in a 100km zone, ma’am”.

…WHAT THE FUCK? Seriously! Did he not notice the botched brown-packing tape job I’d done in an attempt to salvage my tail light from the 5km reverse crash into a pole a few weeks prior? And how did he NOT notice I was missing a P plate? That’s a $50 fine within itself!

The cop also asked me if I’d been drinking, but failed to breatho me, and was more than happy to take my simple proof-of-age card as sufficient ID.

He didn’t fine me either – although I’m still paranoid he’s going to pounce a mail-fine on me and take my not-even six month old probationary license away from me… I might go join witness protection, just incase.

The icing on the cake is a triple shot macchiato that I had two sips of the other day, which causes my heart to beat like a strobe light at full speed for a full seven hours after. I swore I was going to have a bloody stroke like my hypothetical senile tort law man, Anton. Freaked me out. Coffee that strong should be illegal, or atleast come with some kind of the-barista-who-concocted-this-vile-death-drink-holds-no-liability-if-you-die legal warning note on the cup. Really!

So yes, as you can see, the law – in its various realistic and hypothetical forms – has consumed my every waking moment since my last post and is completely and utterly to blame for my neglecting you. Please don’t sue me.

xoxo

HOE NOES! it’s true!

you really are what you eat!

the proof is in the pudding… i mean marshmallow! LOOK AT WHAT I’VE BECOME:

this is what happens when the barista puts 5909833985070283 marshmallows in your hot chocolate on a regular basis.

true story.

beware the marhsmallow-crazy baristas of the world!

system is a downer.

I realie it’s been a while since my last post. I must admit, I have been a bit preoccupied with uni, specifically Prosh on April Fools Day and following that, Prosh-recovery, which took a while.

However, at the same time, my interwebs hasn’t been the best of friends and I’ve had issues trying to get my blog open to post something for all you, my lovely readers/creepy psychotic fans.

I guess what I should do is talk about Prosh. (as I’m still looking into a conclusion for my last post.) Prosh is very near and dear to me and this was my third year around putting myself through the torture and hell of dragging myself out of bed at 4am to swarm the streets of Perth city with my fellow UWA students in ridiculous constumes, selling parody newspapers to raise money for charity.

If you don’t know what Prosh is, feel free to enlighten yourself at this interwebial location. It’s really a fun day – and the absolute best and most awesome reason to go to UWA! Yay us!

Ok, let’s begin with my costume. I had alot of trouble deciding on something, having dressed up as a nun in my first year, and as a Vegas showgirl (complete with feathery bum feature) my second time around.

Eventually it was dear lovely Caro P who gave me the most epic idea ever: dinosaur.

I set about building a dinosaur with papermache. I had epic plans for my dinosaur, however after a week of hard arts and crafting, he still wasn’t quite complete. (But you wait! He will be the most insane dinosaur you’ve ever seen when I’m finished with him!) Of course, as I had not completed him, I could not paint him. So I revamped my idea a little, made myself a tail and scales out of newspaper and ended up proshing as a “Proshasaraus” – a rare, not-yet extinct dinosaur who is made entirely out of newspapers and (due to the fact his jaw broke on my way to uni) brown packing tape. I felt it was quite fitting, selling newspapers whilst covered in them.

This was the end result:

fig 1: epic proshasaraus proshing in the most proshy way possible!

As you can quite clearly see, he isn’t complete (as I mentioned), but is on the way to extraordinary epicness as a proper dinosaur mask/helmet when he is complete!

So let me talk you through the events of my third Prosh:

I was woken up by a phone call at 4:30am, I threw on my costume, brushed my teeth and walked down to campus. On the way, the jaw of my dinosaur broke. (He was repared later that day when the shops opened.)

Dance party’d on Oak Lawn (which began at 3am) until 6am. So much dance party love. Love dance party. Bet you’re jealous you didn’t dance party it up at 3am on the Oak Lawn. Yeah bet you are.

Here’s some photos to make you even more jealous:

fig 2: Dance party before sunrise.

fig 3: Dance party during sunrise.

Of course, dance party wouldn’t be complete without a smattering of very drunk, very naked boys running around campus at 4am, but I don’t wanna name and shame.

After so much dance party, we jumped on the buses, hit the city (yes, in our wacky costumes) and got harassed by Tafe students who refused to buy a Prosh for charity because they’re just jealous they weren’t good enough to come to our uni. Obviously.

Then we Proshessioned through the mall, to the steps outside the state library, where we had MORE DANCE PARTY at midday. So much dance party. Love dance party.

After that I went home and passed out. I was pooped.

More photos and excitingness to come!