I’ve been thinking about those (lack of) dirty sex scenes in Breaking Dawn – (see review: Yeah, I broke dawn.)

Others have also been thinking about the little bits and pieces we learn about the (lack of) dirty sex scenes in Breaking Dawn.

Now, let us rememeber that despite these little issues, I still enjoyed Breaking Dawn, I just notice some discrepancies that I felt like sharing with you all whilst I procrastinate on my assignment.

First of all, let us make a few things clear: Edward is immortal, he’s 107/108 in years by Breaking Dawn but physically he’s only 17. So he’s had alot of time on this planet. Also, he can read minds.

Now, onto the issues:

1. Edward went through med school twice for Carlisle in order to keep him updated on modern medecine, right? Then why did he have to ask his brothers and Carlisle how the birds and the bees worked? Surely this would’ve been discussed! Or he would’ve overheard it/seen it in someone elses mind as they daydreamed. SURELY!

2. (Ta to Sam for this one.) He’s described as granite hard and cold right? So how’d he get it up?

3. Wouldn’t it be uncomfortable for Bella to some extent? Remember, in New Moon when they’re going to see the Volturi and Bella is shivering and Edward rubs his hands against her arms to warm her but she says that his granite skin chaffes? Ok, there’s more moisture down there but surely it’d still be atleast a little uncomfortable.

4. Ok, I guess we’ve accepted the fact that obviously Edward’s sperm were not dead enough to stop Bella getting pregnant, but hello condoms? Ok, they didn’t think they needed them, but let us remember the “icey” issue.

5. Did anyone else get the pillow biter innuendo Sam got? Edward “bit a pillow or two.” Is Edward, maybe, gay? Hahaha. Punny.

Um, that’s all I got for now. Funny how your mind goes off in really strange tangents when you’re trying to right a criminal law report at 11pm at night. Yeah, I’m still working on it.

Anyone else read the books and find these things weird?

All this and there wasn’t even any actual sex scenes! Haha.

Ok, MUST finish assignment now!

I’ll be on my way.

p.s. let it be known, you shouldn’t take me 100% seriously, i love twilight and i won’t bad mouth it, but you must let me stir up some fun once in awhile! anyone who thinks i’m twibashing is insane and needs to get their headchecked, k?