Rightio, I watched the MTV pre-VMA’s too, the red carpet. And I have decided to critique the fashion I saw, because I’m superficial and I can.

Before I start, all images are copyright to MTV, and these are my opinions. So whatevs to your face.

Let us begin:

vmas1
Ashlee Simpsin & Fall Out Boy

Ok, so I know Ashlee is preggers, but she could’ve done better. That looks like the same dress she wears every other day of the week! (As seen in gossip trash mags.) Learn to try something new, Ash.
Fall Out Boy… What to say? Joe and Andy need some serious haircuts, they look like hobos. But I am enjoying the entire band’s outfit ensemble. It’s pretty hot, pretty trendy.

vmas2
Katy Perry & Miley Cyrus

Katy Perry had an “outfit” change, but except for the addition of the sparkly banana that she peeled on stage in a phallic way, there wasn’t much difference. Man, Katy, how about something BESIDES a onesie for once? Onesies are not a “thing”, they are not a “trademark”, ok? But points for that hilarious banana on your costume.
I love Miley’s dress. I think it’s really cute and I’d like one please.

vmas3
Rhianna & the Ting Tings

Rhianna’s stage outfit was cool, but those thigh high boots did nothing for her thunder thighs. Sorry Rhianna, we all gotta accept our faults, and like me, you have thighs that rival the tree trunks! Other than that, she looked really ‘Disturbia’ and it was awesome.
The Ting Tings also look super cute, a little bored maybe, but I think they’re just keeping to their indie image. I’m enjoying the loud clash of colours.

vmas4
High School Musical: Ashley Tisdale, Corbin Bleu, Vanessa Hudgens, Zac Efron
Ashley looks great, Corbin looks like a 50 year old washed up rockstar, Vanessa’s dress is a bit unusual, with that lacey cut out, but I’m drawn to it regardless and Zac looks like a 40 year old accountant.

vmas5
Britney Spears & Russel Brand
Britney looks really good actually, much healthier than she has in the past and her dress is all sparkly and fun.
Russel Brand has a hobo haircut, but his outfit is very 70s rock n roll. It’s cool, but would’ve looked better if he maybe wasn’t so BLOODY IRRITATING!

vmas6
The Jonas Brothers: Nick, Joe, Kevin

They look super polished and super adorable, just like they always do. I love the Jonas Brothers. No faults here.

vmas7
Paramore

Nice expression. I kind’ve like the bowtie and dress effect, and the green with her hair is a little bit Poison Ivy, but her makeup and hair are yuko. The boys look sharp, but they sort’ve just blend in, where she stands out. Boring.

vmas8
Twilight: Robert Pattinson, Cam Gigandet, Taylor Lautner, Kristen Stewart
Rob looks hot, end of story.
Cam looks a little casual, this is an awards show, effort please! I don’t care how good looking you are.
Taylor is only a baby, and we must remember this, and it’s really cute that he’s all dressed up and classily scruffy and yay!
Kristen’s expression is one of confusion, she looks lost. She looks great, but that dress isn’t really very… awards ceremony. Come on Kris, you do this every time! This is not the beach, man.

vmas9
Chace Crawford, Christopher McLovin Mintz-Plasse, Josh Peck & Drake Bell
Man, Chace is all class.
I really love McLovin’s mask, too bad Slipknot noticed he was trying to join them.
Drake and Josh look ridiculous. My god boys, who dressed you? Nerd and nerdier. Unawesome.

vmas10
Pink, Rhianna, Katy Perry, X-Tina
Pink, worst dress ever. And you look really hungover.
Rhianna’s outfit rocks.
I’ve already commented on Katy Perry, and I stand by my claim of slutty and repetitive and stupid.
X-Tina’s post-baby body is pretty hot, she looks really glam however the dress widens her hips and that’s not a good thing. Having said all this, the spiderwebby thing is pretty awesome – just wish it was proportioned better to her wide hips.

That’s all I have to say. There were many more celebrities and such there, but I didn’t know them because they haven’t made Who or New Idea, ergo are not worth my time.

This was fun, I had fun. Did you have fun? Probably not. Do I care? No.

Ok, sweet dreams, my small tiny baby choo choos!

edit: UGH! the images are too wide! i’ll fix them later, i’m so sleepy. but if you’re that curious, just click them, they’ll show in full. ok! xoxo

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