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MY INTERWEBS IS BACK! it returned to me one hour and four minutes ago…

Turns out, right, we have a 10gb a month limit, which, (despite my limited computer knowledge) is really shitty low and bad and sucks and my god I need to get us upgrades, I can’t live like this. Did you know they released tibits of teaser footage from upcoming film Little Ashes two weeks ago and I’ve had to wait those two weeks to watch them?

Now, this might not SEEM particularly painful to the average human being… BUT THERE ARE HOT NAKED TORTURED ARTISTS (one being Salvador Dali) MAKING OUT IN THESE TIBITS OF TEASER FOOTAGE! Can you blame me for being so incredibly frustrated? (please refrain from making those bad puns/jokes I know you’re dying to make after my ‘frustrated’ comment just now…)

Lucky I just watched those little bits of teaser footage and got my nekkid tortured artist fix for the night. I’ll be good until morning…

Speaking of morning…

I’M GOING TO SEE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL THREE TOMOROW! My god are you jealous or what? You’re so jealous, you so so so so so so so so so so are! Especially after that awesome picture I did the other week where I superimposed my head ontop of Vanessa Hudgens, aka Disney porn girl.

I’ll report back tomorow evening on my thoughts and feelings on such an epic movie (as I know it will be).

Today at work we made pipe cleaner snow flakes. On Tuesday, babysitting, we made snow globes (yes real time snow globes with the falling glitter and everything). I’ve had a fun time arts and crafts week! Seriously, come by my work and check out our AWESOME pipe cleaner snow flakes.
Anne + Georgia’s pipe cleaner snowflakes = best thing you’ve ever seen. Uh-huh.

The Tales of Beedle the Bard also arrived today. I was very especially excited and I am about to go to bed to read it. I will also review this epic collection of historical short stories for you when I have completed it. It has footnotes by Albus Dumbledore in it. Yeah, I know you so want to read it twice as much now – considering how cool and man-loving Dumbledore is.

Speaking of man-lovers, as we have been (Dumbledore, Dali… wow! My aliteration skillz are made of awesome!), I’m pretty convinced Vladimir and Stefan the vampires from Breaking Dawn (Twilight Saga Book 4) are pretty man-loving. Infact, they’re dating. I think Stephenie Meyer should write an epic novel about their history, falling inlove and fighting the Volturi and trying to become the most powerful vampires in the world, despite their forbidden love and flakey skin. It would be the best thing I would read that year it was published. Don’t believe me? Go read Breaking Dawn and I DARE you to find a better character in there than Vlad and Stefan!
It’s impossible

Ok, I’m actually super tired and I promise regular updates until my interwebs conks out again/I leave for my trip to Europe! YAY! NORTHERN HEMISPHERE! HERE I COME!

Before I go off to bed, however, I’d like to shout out to some strange boy who wants to friend me on Facebook because my blog is the ‘funniest shit [he’s] ever read’. Yeah? Well, strange boy, maybe you should have left me a comment? Start leaving me comments and maybe I’ll let you be the blogs number one official fan… Maybe.

Sweet dreams all!

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I’ve been thinking about those (lack of) dirty sex scenes in Breaking Dawn – (see review: Yeah, I broke dawn.)

Others have also been thinking about the little bits and pieces we learn about the (lack of) dirty sex scenes in Breaking Dawn.

Now, let us rememeber that despite these little issues, I still enjoyed Breaking Dawn, I just notice some discrepancies that I felt like sharing with you all whilst I procrastinate on my assignment.

First of all, let us make a few things clear: Edward is immortal, he’s 107/108 in years by Breaking Dawn but physically he’s only 17. So he’s had alot of time on this planet. Also, he can read minds.

Now, onto the issues:

1. Edward went through med school twice for Carlisle in order to keep him updated on modern medecine, right? Then why did he have to ask his brothers and Carlisle how the birds and the bees worked? Surely this would’ve been discussed! Or he would’ve overheard it/seen it in someone elses mind as they daydreamed. SURELY!

2. (Ta to Sam for this one.) He’s described as granite hard and cold right? So how’d he get it up?

3. Wouldn’t it be uncomfortable for Bella to some extent? Remember, in New Moon when they’re going to see the Volturi and Bella is shivering and Edward rubs his hands against her arms to warm her but she says that his granite skin chaffes? Ok, there’s more moisture down there but surely it’d still be atleast a little uncomfortable.

4. Ok, I guess we’ve accepted the fact that obviously Edward’s sperm were not dead enough to stop Bella getting pregnant, but hello condoms? Ok, they didn’t think they needed them, but let us remember the “icey” issue.

5. Did anyone else get the pillow biter innuendo Sam got? Edward “bit a pillow or two.” Is Edward, maybe, gay? Hahaha. Punny.

Um, that’s all I got for now. Funny how your mind goes off in really strange tangents when you’re trying to right a criminal law report at 11pm at night. Yeah, I’m still working on it.

Anyone else read the books and find these things weird?

All this and there wasn’t even any actual sex scenes! Haha.

Ok, MUST finish assignment now!

I’ll be on my way.

p.s. let it be known, you shouldn’t take me 100% seriously, i love twilight and i won’t bad mouth it, but you must let me stir up some fun once in awhile! anyone who thinks i’m twibashing is insane and needs to get their headchecked, k?