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I love Eurovision. It is everything I could possibly want in a music competition: it’s not too long, it doesn’t have stupidly annoying judges making cliche comments and it is always bloody hilarious.

So of course, excited by the fact that Norway was hosting, I sat down to watch every single second of Eurovision this weekend just past, from the opening of the first semi-final right through to the closing credits of the finale.

Once again, Julia Zemiro and Sam Pang were brilliant hosts, but everybody already knows that! So onto the actual show: my highlights and lowlights.

Highlights:
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The return of Alexander Rybak: Hooray! I was so thrilled to see him open the finale! I mean… I knew it was going to happen, but it was still just so exciting. He is amazing, I wish he was on my television every day.

Lithuania: EXCUSE ME! How did these five boys NOT get through to the finale? Hell, they should’ve won! Without a doubt, InCulto’s ‘Eastern European Funk’ was the absolute best song in the competition, and the fact that they pulled off their matching plaid pants to reveal matching sequinned shorts just made it all the more fabulous!
Lithuania
Spectacular, really!

Moldova: Hello first Lady Gaga-esque costume for the show! I want that dress… The song was pretty awesome too, and featured some funky neon-light up violin playing. Clearly Alexander Rybak had influenced some of the countries’ entries, as this was hardly the last violin we saw at Eurovision this year!
Moldova!

Spain: Oddly enough, those who usually insta-qualify for a place in the finale (the UK, France, Spain, Germany and the previous years winning country) are the worst, but Spain was pretty wicked sweet this year. Their vocalist is currently starring in Spanish Mamma Mia, and the circus-themed back up dancers were truly entertaining. It was only made better when some Spanish rogue jumped on stage and joined in their performance (he was later arrested) – that ensured everyone sat up and listened. And although it didn’t seem to affect Spain’s performance, they were allowed to re-perform at the end of the finalists-run, to ensure fair voting or something like that…
Spain

France: These guys cetainly had the most body-isolation dance moves (see: gyrating/hip thrusting) and a song that I can see being played on repeat in all French clubs for the next… well forever. It was very Polynesian-French, and I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if they’d stolen Jessy Matador from La Reunion or New Caledonia. Allez, Ola, Ole France!
France

Greece: Whilst it was doubtful that they could actually AFFORD to host next years Eurovision, Greece still felt the need to put up a strong contestant in Giorgos Alkaios, with his song OPA! It looked as though Greece had recycled last years costumes (maybe due to the economic crisis?), but they didn’t let us down with their performance. I especially liked the pyrotechnics in the drums. 🙂
Greece

Albania: Aside from the nappy-pants she was wearing, Juliana Pasha’s performance was perfect, both in the semi and at the final. Hooray her!
Albania
She also had the best dressed back up dancers! Juliana, take a que from them… they were not wearing icky nappy-pants!
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Germany: The winning country no doubt had the best song that made the finale (I still resent the fact that Lithuania didn’t get through…), but little Lena lacked the theatricality we have come to expect from Eurovision. She wore a little black dress, with black stockings and black heels. Her back-up singers were dressed similarly, and there was absolutely NO choreography! The song was great, yes – and it deserved to win. But please Germany, more theatrics next year! I beg you!
Germany

Georgia: Their success made me happy, as I feel a spiritual bond to my namesake nation, however we were playing the Eurovision drinking game and I had to drink everytime my name was said… This was particularly fun in the vote-counting as Georgia received many points – but I was very drunk by the end. Didn’t help that Ireland’s entry’s surname is my middle name. More drinking for me!
I love me.
Georgia!

And finally, Serbia: Is it a man? Is it a woman? Is it somewhere inbetween? No one was really sure (ok it turned out he was a man!), but that didn’t stop little Milan Stankovic, with his funny haircut and pink boots, giving it his all with his ridiculouly catchy song ‘Ovo Je Balkan’. By the end of his three minutes on stage, I was determined to make him my pet… He would follow me around and I could teach him fun tricks like catch and roll over. What fun we would have!
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Little Stankovic’s back-up dancers were shockingly out-of-time, which was disappointing, and was probably a factor in his failing to garner more votes. But one thing was sure: the best lyrics of the night went to Serbia. According to the translation on the Eurovision website, one line was: “your chest is tempting me”. Hooray little Serbia! I love your super-strange lyrics Please never leave me.
Serbia
p.s. wtf teddy bear detail on belt and jacket

Many of the other songs were great… Russia was particularly hilarious, they sung to a shoddy drawing of a girl, and it didn’t matter what Norway was singing about, he was H-O-T hot! Romania’s lady singer couldn’t move very well in her skin-tight leather bodysuit, but they were still pretty awesome. Denmark was a bit overrated, to be honest. Iceland was pretty sweet deal, except she should’ve had a volcano or ash or something hilarious like that. Armenia’s Apricot Stone was one of the weirder songs, but not half as weird as Ukraine’s Avril Lavigne-lookalike. Israel was pretty to look at, but I couldn’t tell what he was singing about… And normally I can tell, regardless of the language. I liked Azerbajan’s (sp?) light-up dress, but I think she could’ve given us more dancing, after all, she worked with Beyonce’s choreography! Belguim was boring. Belarus were dull, except the butterfly wings were pretty cool. The UK’s Josh Debovie was cute, but his back up singers were out of tune and his song lacked depth.

Yeah, some of them were crap (Belarus, Belgium), but bah to them! Honestly the only real negative thing I have to say about Eurovision this year is: EXCUSE ME! WHY DIDN’T LITHUANIA WIN? So offended! (I could honestly rant on all day, but I won’t!)

Til next year, my beloved Eurovision. 🙂

Georgia out!

p.s. lol the UK came last, and he wasn’t even that bad! Belarus was balls – so freaking dull, sorry!

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Ah Eurovision, you are beautiful, you are wonderful, you gave us ABBA and you gave us Lordi and you gave us those crazy Lativans who sang about being Wolves of the Sea. You are perfect, dear Eurovision.

Infact, dearest Eurovision love, you have managed to top yourself this year, because you gave Europe (and the world, aka me) this perfect manboy:

AlexandeRyback

And for this, Eurovision, I thank you profusely. For bestowing this perfect Norwegian hottie violin dancey crazy man upon us to admire and love and adore and, well frankly, drool over for always and forever, I thank you.

Infact, this years Eurovision was pretty epic. But did anyone else notice the severve lack of comedy acts? Were they just swept under the rug in the semi finals this year? Because I did notice their absence and I did miss them so!

So I’m going to recap my favourite moments of Eurovision this year, rather than rant on about the perfection that is Alexander Rybak for the rest of the post! (But let it be known, he was my favourite moment ever.)

Ok, so I loved the opening act. I loved Mr Russian Hottie who won last years Eurovision Contest, I loved it when he was hoisted into the air, I loved his wardrobe malfunction (even if it wasn’t quite as epic as Janet Jackson’s all those years ago) and I loved how he pulled off those tight white pants and tight white (leather?) shirt and sang his winning song from 2008 and ran through those white wall things and broke them to represent his life.

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I also really liked that he managed to get hot since the last time we saw him! I’m pretty sure I remember him being kinda average looking…

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I just thought this lady was awesome. She was singing way too fast for me to even consider translating, although I got the title, something like “Why Must I/We…” It was awesome, she was awesome.

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Portugal, with their bright, psychadelic swirls that would scare even Austin Powers were so cute and so happy and how could you not want to run up there and rip the shoes from that lady’s feet and put them on your own feet? HOW COULD YOU NOT?

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Greece, with his giant hair straightener/tanning bed/stapler/bright shiney building blocks thing and his exposed stomach and the way he kept touching himself. He was there for all the ladies, and the men… and the lady-mans, too. Greece was greasy sex.

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Russia’s entry this year was a little too deep and profound for Eurovision in my opinion, but man she did a better Sinead O’Conner than Sinead O’Conner! (and atleast she had hair, Sinead!) I liked the ageing effects they gave to giant screen Russian-singer-lady, on the giant screens. Profound, deep, pretentious, Russian.

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Iceland’s entry was referred to as “three minutes of perfect pop” and I have to agree. She was cute, the song was cute, and everything about the set up was just plain cute! I really don’t have anything else to say on the topic…

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I don’t remember what country this is, but I really just liked the green man with the bondage-style sequinned mask on.
And her tutu.
She looks like Nikki Webster.

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Estonia was awesome, I want her dress, plskthnx.

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Ah Germany, I don’t think you were even represented by a German man. He certainly didn’t sound German when he was interviewed by Julia-lady-from-Rockwiz. And she even accused him of not being able to speak German! I think I can safely conclude: this man is not German.
However, he did manage to pull off silver sequinned pants AND even get Dita Von Teese hot on stage! That takes skill… Bet he’s really Greek or some shit like that.

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I don’t quite understand exactly what was intended by this Argentinian show, but it was a floating see-through pool-trampoline thing that I think I want to do… Excuse me whilst I move to Argentina to join the see-through pool-trampoline water circus.

Well, this years Eurovision was certainly epic… Even though I ended up fast forwarding through some songs because they were SO bloody boring or just too fucked up for my eyes. (Malta I’m looking at you here, and Armenia too!)

I liked that parody thing that crazy Russian lady tourist guide did with the “we don’t have bears, we don’t have dictators, we don’t have alcohol” and you could see them all in the background, that was pretty lol.

So that’s all for this tiny mini little small but still epic and a bit lame recap of Eurovision!

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Yum…

Did you miss me? I was gone for a while there. As it was, I was swamped by life and almost forgot about my beloved little blog!

I really must complete my list of amazing things from Europe. There is so much more entertaining stuff to post! And it will kill the boredom between classes…

That’s right, this is my second week back at uni and I already hate Tort Law. I really do. Except Donoghue v Stevenson. If you don’t know what Donoghue v Stevenson is, then click on this link to become learned on one of the best cases ever in existence. (It didn’t make my earlier list cos it’s tort, not criminal.)

I am now a third year, this makes me feel ill and I am really not excited about my birthday that approaches. Twenteen is not an attractive age and I am doing everything to resist the coming of Sunday, when all Hades rises and I become that disgusting old age that has a 2 infront of it. *shudders*

Um… what else is there? Not a whole lot really, life has been relatively uneventful and there isn’t even anything hilarious for me to report upon!

Oh! I signed up to be group leader for next weeks history workshop presentation… Only to remember later that I am so unorganised I forgot that I was too unorganised to be a group leader! Tune in to Geography Lecture Theatre 1 at 10am next Tuesday to watch wrinkly old twenteen Georgia and her comradery of motley revolutionaries crash and burn!

This is all for now.

I promise more fun Europe pictures later.

xoxo.

Going on big adventures like the one I just took across ye olde land of Europe, I was no doubt going to learn many life lessons. I am now going to share with you some of my new found Europeany-wisdom, so maybe you might become just as wise as I. Yeah, you heard it here first. Georgia = wise. So whatevs in ya face.

1. James is a far more skills tracker than previously believed.
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As you can see, depicted in the above photo, James (and his nomadic nomad vampire buddies) has snuck himself into my photo of the statue of Sidney Herbert. How insulting James! I was on holidays! Quite obviously, I am not in the mood for you to interrupt my baseball game in order to suck the humans blood, alright? You and me, in a room of mirrors, now, capice? Yeah, you better not stick yourself to the side of a bus ever again. (Man, I am so not very funny.)

2. Picking your nose has been taken to a whole new level in London:
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As you can see, by the nose stuck on the side of this gate wall thing that the Queen sometimes drives though, picking noses is a Londonish past time, and it should be taken quite seriously… Really though, why is there a nose stuck to the side of the wall? And more importantly, has it ever been caught eating its own boogies? Has the Queen herself ever picked the nose? Do tourists often go by the nose and attempt to pick it? Is it punishable by law to pick the nose? All these crucial questions to my existence, I MUST HAVE ANSWERS!!!

3. You can find comfort in the strangest places.
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This bathroom in Willi’s Wine Bar, Paris, happens to be an almost exact – albiet, dirtier – replica of my bathroom back home. There was one major error: the poster in Willi’s bathroom is actually in my kitchen, but close enough. I really took to this bathroom, I went like four times. I think I started to creep out the bar staff a bit when I wandered in there with my camera… I’d like to say my mother has fantastic, Parisien taste, but I happen to know for a fact that she visited Willi’s Wine Bar just over a year ago and probably stole the idea then… How sick. Lol.

4. This particular little delicacy promises a religious experience, when eaten.
religiouschocolate
Apparently it’s very similar to having one of those epiphanical moments when you realise you’re supposed to dedicate your life to some truly selfless cause, like Tim Gunn showing ugly people how to dress better or Hugh Hefner sleeping with hot chicks to give hope to all guys out there, that it doesn’t matter if you’re a wrinkly old perv, there is a blonde out there dumb enough who WILL sleep with you… provided you have the moolah to pay for her every dumb blonde whim.
(and no, I’m not playing dumb tourist, that ACTUALLY translates to religious chocolate! so there!)

This is only four of many highly important life lessons that I lifely learnt upon my magical travels. However, I am super duper absolutely and utterly tired and I have to get up early tomorrow to do important things with important people.

Stay tuned for lessons in how to scare the life out of Matt, hula hooping laws in Barcelona, Parisian breasts, bears with sixpacks, how to sponser an underprivileged stone, what not to carve into stone, where to find the best pasta in Florence, how not to get sex in Paris, and finally: being hygenic, the Italian way.

So, excuse me whilst I catch some zzz’s.

plskthnx
xoxo
Georgia

Twas the night before Christmas, and… twas the only time of year we bloody use the word ’twas’! It’s such a fantastic word, we should use it more often. I hereby advocate for the increased use of the word ’twas’ all year round!

So, retailmania is over and we had champagne to celebrate! I now have to wait, as due to double demerits AND only just getting my P plates (YAY!) mere days ago, I cannot take the risk driving even with just the slightest hint of booze in the system.

I’m also in the process of packing for my month long journey of Europe – I’m having alot of trouble trying to work out which airports are where and how on earth to book my final flight from Paris back to London! It’s absolutely much too confusing for my poor retail-frazzled brain.

So, I can’t be bothered posting my Twilight movie review on my Twi-blog, so after completing this holiday season post, I will post my Twi-review – which might even be MORE epic than my HSM3 review. And that is truly saying something epic.

This year we sold like a hundred billion copies of The Snowball; aka Warren Buffet’s biography, aka a Weapon of Mass Destruction within its own little hardcovered black and gold self. We also sold a hundred billion copies of Dawn French’s memoirs, Matt Price’s book of columnistic titbits and maybe a million billion copies of New Moon (Twilight#2). The Twi-sales may have actually caused me to be OVER Twilight!

OMG! Did the world just end? Did Georgia say she was MAYBE over Twilight? Well yes – but only when it involves discussing the novel with underage tweenie twats who know nothing about nothing and get really, personaly offended when you tell them you are Team Mike, New Moon is your favourite book and you think Edward might be a closet gay.

…Yes, despite being one of the biggest Twilighters in Australia, I have still managed to retain my indie-cred, dignity AND sense of humour, ok? Fear not, I shan’t succumb to Edwardmania and purchase these truly epic gems of merchandising that must be seen to be believed.

Not even I want Robert Pattinson’s glarey face to keep me toasty warm during the night. That goes far beyond creepy… infact, it’s so far past creepy, it’s getting back arond close to normal! THAT’S SUPER INTENSE CREEPY!

Although, I did ask my boss if we could maybe order in this life size cut out of our favourite hottie vampire for the shop. True hilarity would ensue if we displayed THAT piece of awesome in our shop window. (Oh and us casuals would get no work done as we would spend the whole day swooning… But let’s just keep that between us.)

I also saw this amazing billboard the other day. It said:

DRINK SPRITE! It makes you sexy!*

*You must already be sexy.

…Or something like that. Best billboard ever.

So, I’m gonna wrap this up here, because my Twi-review is going to be so epic that it might even cause WordPress to crash. I also have to drive to Katie’s (I am now ok to drive, I had the tiny little sip of champers almost two hours ago) and pick up the last little bit of Chloe’s birthday present!

I’m leaving on December 28th for Europe and will be back on January 28th 2009 – however I hope to blog for you all when I am on my travels!

So, Merry whatever-you-celebrate and have the most AWESOME NYE possible without me and I’ll see you all super soon, I promise!

Lots of love and hugs and red and green cheer and maybe some mistletoe,
Your best and favourite,
Georgia

p.s. we have a MAYBE on ordering the life size cut out into our store!