You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘twilight’ tag.

the first topic on the agenda is me. and how i am so pleased that the world is (slowly) beginning to recognise me and how absolutely amazing i happen to be. (i just wish it would hurry up!)

proof of this fact came to me in a photo today from my katie, who is in north america (of which we will discuss more further down)

so let me now unveil this photo to all you good, georgia-loving people of the world:

Photobucket

as you can see, my name appears three times on this building. i have even circled them for you in bright yellow for easy spotting. clearly, this building is being built in honour of me and quite clearly that amazing man in the yellow is one of these georgia-worshippers who is helping such a fantastic architectual monument to me be constructed!

so, vancouver (where this building site is), i thank you for your gracious offering to my good self, however i shall be unable to attend the opening ceremony, as i am under high demand and shan’t be able to make it to your fair city.

however, i do promise to pop by sometime in the future! lay out the pink carpet for me!

🙂

but enough about me and my building, we have other matters to cover!

we discussed tort law last post. let us continue this. just briefly.

today we studied a case where a rolls royce was involved in two accidents (both the other cars’ fault, not the rolls royce), two weeks apart.

the first accident caused much damage, but the rolls royce wasn’t repaired before the second crash occurred therefore only the guy in the FIRST accident was liable, and not the second.

this sounds a lot like Donna’s (my big blue car) encounter with the pole… because the bumper bar was already damaged (due to a previous ding), i am not liable for the bumper bar, meaning that i only have to claim the broken light. and as a tiny baby, this makes the whole ordeal waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay less expensive, because dad claiming the bumper bar = cheaper than me claiming the bumper bar.

and it turns out, because i applied this real life incident to tort law, i was right.

clearly, my life = tort law. fucking creeping me out.

in other news, katie has departured from canadia, but is still in north america. she is in seattle, being ravaged by vampires and keeping her eye out for werewolves. she’s good at that.

recently she stumbled across the outskirts of the set for new moon, the new twi-movie, in canadia, proving once and for all: canadia is a dangerous, vampire infested country! FEAR IT! or go there and find your sparkly true love and marry him/her and have creepy perfect half breed babies with retarded names.
your choice.

but really, i just miss katie and wish she’d just leave america and come home already, really. i’m counting the days. it’s pretty soon. just over a month now…

in even more news, i want a job at the ABC, if anyone from the ABC (that’s the Australian one, people) happens to read this blog, please give me a job! i shall work for free. i’m good at that.

in some very exciting television news: YAY! YAY! YAY! they’re back! super excited.

and for the shiggles: man china never fails to astound me with its whackness

yeah, i’m an ABC-whore, sue me. or get me a job there. really.

i watched the logies last night, should’ve blogged them, i may attempt to recap them later, but in the mean time i will mention that rebecca gibney won the gold logie and i am thrilled cos she’s pretty freaking awesome and isn’t annoying like those stupid neighbours/home&away stars who really don’t do anything but eventually get killed off the show. yay rebecca gibney!

out.

Going on big adventures like the one I just took across ye olde land of Europe, I was no doubt going to learn many life lessons. I am now going to share with you some of my new found Europeany-wisdom, so maybe you might become just as wise as I. Yeah, you heard it here first. Georgia = wise. So whatevs in ya face.

1. James is a far more skills tracker than previously believed.
Photobucket
As you can see, depicted in the above photo, James (and his nomadic nomad vampire buddies) has snuck himself into my photo of the statue of Sidney Herbert. How insulting James! I was on holidays! Quite obviously, I am not in the mood for you to interrupt my baseball game in order to suck the humans blood, alright? You and me, in a room of mirrors, now, capice? Yeah, you better not stick yourself to the side of a bus ever again. (Man, I am so not very funny.)

2. Picking your nose has been taken to a whole new level in London:
Photobucket
As you can see, by the nose stuck on the side of this gate wall thing that the Queen sometimes drives though, picking noses is a Londonish past time, and it should be taken quite seriously… Really though, why is there a nose stuck to the side of the wall? And more importantly, has it ever been caught eating its own boogies? Has the Queen herself ever picked the nose? Do tourists often go by the nose and attempt to pick it? Is it punishable by law to pick the nose? All these crucial questions to my existence, I MUST HAVE ANSWERS!!!

3. You can find comfort in the strangest places.
Photobucket
This bathroom in Willi’s Wine Bar, Paris, happens to be an almost exact – albiet, dirtier – replica of my bathroom back home. There was one major error: the poster in Willi’s bathroom is actually in my kitchen, but close enough. I really took to this bathroom, I went like four times. I think I started to creep out the bar staff a bit when I wandered in there with my camera… I’d like to say my mother has fantastic, Parisien taste, but I happen to know for a fact that she visited Willi’s Wine Bar just over a year ago and probably stole the idea then… How sick. Lol.

4. This particular little delicacy promises a religious experience, when eaten.
religiouschocolate
Apparently it’s very similar to having one of those epiphanical moments when you realise you’re supposed to dedicate your life to some truly selfless cause, like Tim Gunn showing ugly people how to dress better or Hugh Hefner sleeping with hot chicks to give hope to all guys out there, that it doesn’t matter if you’re a wrinkly old perv, there is a blonde out there dumb enough who WILL sleep with you… provided you have the moolah to pay for her every dumb blonde whim.
(and no, I’m not playing dumb tourist, that ACTUALLY translates to religious chocolate! so there!)

This is only four of many highly important life lessons that I lifely learnt upon my magical travels. However, I am super duper absolutely and utterly tired and I have to get up early tomorrow to do important things with important people.

Stay tuned for lessons in how to scare the life out of Matt, hula hooping laws in Barcelona, Parisian breasts, bears with sixpacks, how to sponser an underprivileged stone, what not to carve into stone, where to find the best pasta in Florence, how not to get sex in Paris, and finally: being hygenic, the Italian way.

So, excuse me whilst I catch some zzz’s.

plskthnx
xoxo
Georgia

It just so happens that I haven’t seen TWILIGHTTHEMOVIE once BUT INFACT I WENT A SECOND TIME WITH MY CO-WORKERS!

Both times I watched TWILIGHTTHEMOVIE my snack of choice was red liquorice – as for many years now I have felt that if a vampire was going to give up drinking human blood, they would munch on red liquorice. Of course, unlike Stephenie Meyer and Dr. “even my name reaks sex” Carlisle Cullen, I didn’t think to consider that maybe animal blood would be a more realistic and viable alternative. I only just saw the awesome that red liquorice embodies in all its chewy, blood-red goodness.

And of course, at both sessions, when James sexy-sniffed the air and said: “You brought a snack?”, I reached over for my red liquorice and offered some to the vampire au natural, hoping he might leave Bella’s bloody alone and come after my red liquorice… and me. But more on that later.

Photobucket

For probably the most hilarious and best (but, simultaneously, the most tragic and lame) TWILIGHTTHEMOVIE review, please check out

The movie opens with the prologue from the book, about how Bella would die in the place of someone she loved, blah blah, and bookhaters/moviegoers all go “aww Edward”, except that real Twilighers know that Bella is totally talking about her weirdo mother who is a totaly scatz-brain who says things like “omg is he a jock?” like people actually still use that stereotype! (We ‘young’ns’ prefer the phrase “meathead dickwad” nowadays)

And then, it turns out that our beloved Bella has a PET CACTUS which she pets (pretty sure cactus are not for petting) and she carries it everywhere… well, it disappears when Edward shows. Ooh, little cactus, you just weren’t cuddly enough. Rejection. Bella prefers to hug stone vampire boys – I imagine it’s much like hugging the bathroom floor, which is certainly preferable to your little spikes, oh cacti.

Jacob gives Bella her truck and he has long hair and it’s lush looking and kinda girly – it looks like he’s wearing a headband. But we all deal cos we know it gets chopped off in New Moon. Good.

Then, Bella goes to school and everyone is like “OMG NEW GIRL HAWT” and it’s all a whole bunch of sexual assault. Tyler runs up to Bella and kisses her – not even knowing her name, just staking his claim cos he thinks shes hot… Honestly! Any normal new girl would shout ‘RAPE!’ and run run away.

Photobucket

Ok, a few honest moments:

1. Mike was perfect, with his misty blue eyes and “jock” jacket. (Oh wait… I mean meathead dickwad jacket. Oops, my bad.)

2. Jessica and Mike’s sexual tension might have maybe possibly just a little bit TRUMPED Edward and Bella’s. This is most evident when Bella hits Mike on the head with a volleyball and Jessica runs in and giggles like the idiot school girl that she is and we all know she is mentally undressing him, cos she’s a dirty perv too.

3. Eric is so cool and so Asian. He’s one of those dweeby types who so so so wants to be cool, but still wears the customary dweeb button up shirt and tie ensemble to school, regardless. He also says things like “homegirl” and runs the school newspaper, nuff said.

Of course, by now we’re getting annoyed – where are the Cullens? Excuse me, I pretty much only came to see them!

Duhn duhn duhn!!!!

The Cullens come marching two by two! Hurrah! Hurrah!

The Cullens come marching two by two! Hurrah Hurrah!

The Cullens come marching two by two! But not the last one, he’s Eddie-poo!

And they all go marching… into the cafeteria! YAY!

Boom! Boom! Boom!

So there’s some Rosalie and some Emmett and some Jasper and SOME ALICE!

Alice is made of pure awesome. Like, you could market her and her slogan would be: Alice: 100% MADE OF AWESOME! And it would be honest advertising. No joke. Just go see the movie for Alice. And maybe the baseball… But Alice is IN the baseball scene, so really you’re still going for Alice.

Photobucket

Now see, I have to catch an airplane in like… 12 hours. I shall try my absolute best to finish my review before I leave – but no promises. To keep you going, I have posted all the fun images that will be accompanying this review below:

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

If I don’t, I know you’ll miss me! I’ll miss you! And um… I’ll postcard you if you send me your address!

xoxo

Twas the night before Christmas, and… twas the only time of year we bloody use the word ’twas’! It’s such a fantastic word, we should use it more often. I hereby advocate for the increased use of the word ’twas’ all year round!

So, retailmania is over and we had champagne to celebrate! I now have to wait, as due to double demerits AND only just getting my P plates (YAY!) mere days ago, I cannot take the risk driving even with just the slightest hint of booze in the system.

I’m also in the process of packing for my month long journey of Europe – I’m having alot of trouble trying to work out which airports are where and how on earth to book my final flight from Paris back to London! It’s absolutely much too confusing for my poor retail-frazzled brain.

So, I can’t be bothered posting my Twilight movie review on my Twi-blog, so after completing this holiday season post, I will post my Twi-review – which might even be MORE epic than my HSM3 review. And that is truly saying something epic.

This year we sold like a hundred billion copies of The Snowball; aka Warren Buffet’s biography, aka a Weapon of Mass Destruction within its own little hardcovered black and gold self. We also sold a hundred billion copies of Dawn French’s memoirs, Matt Price’s book of columnistic titbits and maybe a million billion copies of New Moon (Twilight#2). The Twi-sales may have actually caused me to be OVER Twilight!

OMG! Did the world just end? Did Georgia say she was MAYBE over Twilight? Well yes – but only when it involves discussing the novel with underage tweenie twats who know nothing about nothing and get really, personaly offended when you tell them you are Team Mike, New Moon is your favourite book and you think Edward might be a closet gay.

…Yes, despite being one of the biggest Twilighters in Australia, I have still managed to retain my indie-cred, dignity AND sense of humour, ok? Fear not, I shan’t succumb to Edwardmania and purchase these truly epic gems of merchandising that must be seen to be believed.

Not even I want Robert Pattinson’s glarey face to keep me toasty warm during the night. That goes far beyond creepy… infact, it’s so far past creepy, it’s getting back arond close to normal! THAT’S SUPER INTENSE CREEPY!

Although, I did ask my boss if we could maybe order in this life size cut out of our favourite hottie vampire for the shop. True hilarity would ensue if we displayed THAT piece of awesome in our shop window. (Oh and us casuals would get no work done as we would spend the whole day swooning… But let’s just keep that between us.)

I also saw this amazing billboard the other day. It said:

DRINK SPRITE! It makes you sexy!*

*You must already be sexy.

…Or something like that. Best billboard ever.

So, I’m gonna wrap this up here, because my Twi-review is going to be so epic that it might even cause WordPress to crash. I also have to drive to Katie’s (I am now ok to drive, I had the tiny little sip of champers almost two hours ago) and pick up the last little bit of Chloe’s birthday present!

I’m leaving on December 28th for Europe and will be back on January 28th 2009 – however I hope to blog for you all when I am on my travels!

So, Merry whatever-you-celebrate and have the most AWESOME NYE possible without me and I’ll see you all super soon, I promise!

Lots of love and hugs and red and green cheer and maybe some mistletoe,
Your best and favourite,
Georgia

p.s. we have a MAYBE on ordering the life size cut out into our store!

MY INTERWEBS IS BACK! it returned to me one hour and four minutes ago…

Turns out, right, we have a 10gb a month limit, which, (despite my limited computer knowledge) is really shitty low and bad and sucks and my god I need to get us upgrades, I can’t live like this. Did you know they released tibits of teaser footage from upcoming film Little Ashes two weeks ago and I’ve had to wait those two weeks to watch them?

Now, this might not SEEM particularly painful to the average human being… BUT THERE ARE HOT NAKED TORTURED ARTISTS (one being Salvador Dali) MAKING OUT IN THESE TIBITS OF TEASER FOOTAGE! Can you blame me for being so incredibly frustrated? (please refrain from making those bad puns/jokes I know you’re dying to make after my ‘frustrated’ comment just now…)

Lucky I just watched those little bits of teaser footage and got my nekkid tortured artist fix for the night. I’ll be good until morning…

Speaking of morning…

I’M GOING TO SEE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL THREE TOMOROW! My god are you jealous or what? You’re so jealous, you so so so so so so so so so so are! Especially after that awesome picture I did the other week where I superimposed my head ontop of Vanessa Hudgens, aka Disney porn girl.

I’ll report back tomorow evening on my thoughts and feelings on such an epic movie (as I know it will be).

Today at work we made pipe cleaner snow flakes. On Tuesday, babysitting, we made snow globes (yes real time snow globes with the falling glitter and everything). I’ve had a fun time arts and crafts week! Seriously, come by my work and check out our AWESOME pipe cleaner snow flakes.
Anne + Georgia’s pipe cleaner snowflakes = best thing you’ve ever seen. Uh-huh.

The Tales of Beedle the Bard also arrived today. I was very especially excited and I am about to go to bed to read it. I will also review this epic collection of historical short stories for you when I have completed it. It has footnotes by Albus Dumbledore in it. Yeah, I know you so want to read it twice as much now – considering how cool and man-loving Dumbledore is.

Speaking of man-lovers, as we have been (Dumbledore, Dali… wow! My aliteration skillz are made of awesome!), I’m pretty convinced Vladimir and Stefan the vampires from Breaking Dawn (Twilight Saga Book 4) are pretty man-loving. Infact, they’re dating. I think Stephenie Meyer should write an epic novel about their history, falling inlove and fighting the Volturi and trying to become the most powerful vampires in the world, despite their forbidden love and flakey skin. It would be the best thing I would read that year it was published. Don’t believe me? Go read Breaking Dawn and I DARE you to find a better character in there than Vlad and Stefan!
It’s impossible

Ok, I’m actually super tired and I promise regular updates until my interwebs conks out again/I leave for my trip to Europe! YAY! NORTHERN HEMISPHERE! HERE I COME!

Before I go off to bed, however, I’d like to shout out to some strange boy who wants to friend me on Facebook because my blog is the ‘funniest shit [he’s] ever read’. Yeah? Well, strange boy, maybe you should have left me a comment? Start leaving me comments and maybe I’ll let you be the blogs number one official fan… Maybe.

Sweet dreams all!

Ok I stole this from some place that had pretty pictures. If I can find it again, I’ll link back. If someone else finds it, link me pls. Ta.

p.s. I finished exams! YAY!

I didn’t cheat, I promise. (Ok I saw the last Q as I copied it in… Luckily the last Q makes little to no difference on my choices!)

Pick six fandoms and then answer the questions below. Don’t look at the questions ahead of time 😛

1. Harry Potter
2. Twilight
3. Hannah Montana
4. Star Wars
5. Gilmore Girls
6. High School Musical

———

1. Who is your favorite character from #2?
Twilight – Ok, this has several possible answers (and would, Twilight or not!). Quite obviously, Edward, but that’s so duh obvious that I don’t count him! So here are my other favourites:
Favourite Cullen: Alice, hands down. She’s me… If I was a vampire?
Favourite Human: Mike. I’m Team Mike always.
Favourite Good Vampire: Stefan & Vladimir
Favourite Ship (besides the obvious): Kate & Garrett… Although, I like to imagine Stefan and Vlad are secret gay lovers who, because they are so old, don’t feel the need to be mushily obvious anymore.
Favourite ‘Bad Guy’: Marcus or Victoria. Marcus cos he’s so freaking bored with everything, he needs a hobby. Victoria because she’s just out to get revenge on the people who broke her heart.

2. Who is your least favorite character from #4?
Star Wars – Um, I didn’t like Palpy when he was pretending to be a ‘good guy’ cos he was lameo. And I didn’t like Count Dooku, he failed at being a Sith cos he didn’t even have the prefix of ‘Darth’! Epic failurism on his part. I also found myself frequently annoyed with that creepy Twi’lek, I can’t remember his name right now, he was Jabba the Hutt’s slave Twi’lek and he was freaking creepy and feral looking.

3. What would a crossover between #1 and #5 include?
Gilmore Girls & Harry Potter – Oh man, can you imagine Rory getting a letter from Hogwarts? Emily would have a FIELD day and Lorelai would be SO psyched and they’d go and tour Hogwarts like they toured Yale and Rory would totally out-magic Hermione with her super skillz. And omg Rory would so blitz everything and win the Tri-Wizard Tournament! And Lorelai would try to invent her own spells and have insane, dangerous fun with magic things and give all the little deprived wizard kids lots of muggle movies to watch so they were well educated because she’d be SO shocked when she heard they hadn’t seen Pippi Longstockings!

4. Who is your favorite ship from #6?
High School Musical – um, clearly Sharpay and the basketballer who likes cooking. I haven’t seen HSM3 yet, I hope they hook up. That’d be delicious. (Yeah, I pun.)

5. If you were to set one person from #3 and one person from #6 on a blind date, who would they be?
Hannah & HSM – Mrs Darbus and Billy Ray. Cos no one else would say that. Also, it’d be epicly hilarious when Billy Ray realised he was going out with an old theatre mole who was probably menopausal hot for him.
Photobucket
They look so happy… *tear*

6. If you could meet one person from #4 and spend the day with them, who would it be, and what would you do?
Star Wars – Yoda, I’d tell him that I would do or do not, because I could not try. And he’d so train me in the ways of the Jedi and I’d be the best Jedi ever. Or Aayla Secura because she has blue skin, and I’ve always thought it might be a good idea to paint my skin some unnatural skin colour like blue or purple. Also, she has super saber skillz.
Or Chewbacca, we could have a roar-off. Can you imagine that? So totally awesome.
It’d look something like this:
Photobucket
We’d have an Idol-style panel judging us, consisting of Master Windu, Yoda and probbers Lando Calrissian.

7. If you could change one thing about #2’s plot line, what would you change?
Twilight – Um… Kill Bella and replace her with me? Duh. Who wouldn’t? Who doesn’t want to have freaky pillow-biting sex and freaking mutant babies with Edward? I sure wouldn’t say no! Or have Bella and Mike hook up – just to see the tweenie reactions – that would be the most epicly hilarious thing ever. Team Mike foreverz.

8. Explain a relationship between two people (not necessarily romantic) from show #5, and why you like the relationship between them.
Gilmore Girls – Emily and Lorelai. Because they’re basically my mum and my grandma (dad’s mum), but on television.

9. If the lead title characters (first name in the credits) from #1 and #3 were both drowning, and you could only save one, who would it be?
HARRY AND HANNAH! – OMG! Well, Harry would have his wand right? So I’d save him and then he could save Hannah. Regardless, I’d pick Harry over Hannah. I love Hannah, but Harry’s been with me for over a decade, man. That’s commitment, that is.

10. If you could change the title characters’ order in the credits for #4, what order would you choose?
Star Wars – Um, Chewbacca would be first? But really, I don’t care so much.

11. If you were able to add a new character, any kind of character you wanted, to the storyline for #6, what would the character be like and what would their role be?
HSM – Um, I’d put me in. Cos I so regret not going to a high school where they frequently burst into song and dance when they can’t work out their problems. My role would be ‘girl in the corner with the nose spray’, because that’s pretty much my role in life currently, except I don’t use my nose spray… She’d actually be the most talented person in the whole school and everyone would fall inlove with her (yes, even the girls) once they realised how sexy the nose spray was. Oh, and then nose sprays would become trendy, like heroin or something.
Photobucket
Look! Sharpay taught me to walk in heels! (pls click the image for the complete text, i’ll shrink it later, i promise!)

12. What happens in your favourite episode of show #2?
Twilight – Episode? Um… Well this could be chapter or book I guess… But my favourite bit is probably when Mike and Jake and Bella all go to the movies and Mike vomits. I so would’ve held his hair back… Even though his hair is too short to hold back.

13. If you could kill off one of the characters of #1, who would it be and how would you do it?
Harry Potter – I think JK Rowling kills off enough characters for all of us, so how about I bring one of them back to life? Clearly I’d bring back Snape. Or Movie-Cedric, as long as it was after Cho had met her muggle lover (cos did you know she marries a muggle? what a loser… oh wait I’m a muggle… um yeah, anyways…) …wait where was I? Oh yeah, Movie-Cedric, as long as I could sex him up good. Cos he’s hot.
Maybe, if I couldn’t bring back someone to life, I’d kill off Marcus Flint for having bad teeth.

14. If you got the chance to visit the set for either show #3 or show #5, which would you choose?
GG & HM – Oh man! How difficult! Well, I guess, because Gilmore Girls has finished, so I’d go on the set of Hannah Montana. Hannah and I would become best friends.
But I’d have to pick Gilmore Girls if that was still going, cos I could run around Yale and drink ‘faux coffee’ cola with Alexis Bledel and have a talkfast-off with Lauren Graham (I’d win) and I’d dance naked on the gazebo and everyone would be thoroughly disturbed by my naked body.

15. So, I saved the best question for last. If you could date anyone from any of these shows, which show and which person?
I think we all know the answer to this question, but I’ll say it just for confirmations sake: Edward, duh. Who wouldn’t? But I’m not going to go stalk Rob Pattinson, cos that’s creepy and he can’t catch a break from those little marriage craving tweenies. Even if he is gorgeous, cos he was like Movie-Cedric as well… Mind you, maybe I should go after him? Poor bloke can’t get a date… Man, what is the world coming to when a hottie like that can’t find a girl? *offers self up for sacrifice, but not in a creepy way, cos i’m not like that…* lol.

~*~

Think you can do better? Prove it. I bet you so can’t, cos you epic fail.

Ok, so because people whom I shall not name (Mitchell and Kevin) keep whinging about my Twilight related posts, I have started a separate Twi-blog. You should link all your Twi-loving friends to it.

You can find it on the left sidebar, but just incase you’re super lazy, you can click right HERE! <— THERE!

It’s called Running with the Vampires and it’s where I’ll tear apart and analyse the shit out of anything and everything to do with Twilight. I’ll also post my favourite Twicons at random intervals and keep you up to speed on some of the Twi-happenings of the Twi-world. And just to keep you on your toes, I’ll drop a few random things in there for good measure. Maybe some Harry Potter things. Cos he will always be my first and truest literary character love.

xoxo.
G

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELLA! You might’ve stopped ageing, but that won’t stop us celebrating!

(Also, happy birthday to Renesmee on the 11th of Sept, and please stop growing so fast, alright?)

Yeah shut up all you anti-Twilighters and let me celebrate.

I’m watching the MTV VMAs, not somehting I’d normally do, but I’ve been promised a glimpse of Robert Pattinson, and how can I say no to Cedric Diggory himself? Also, the Joe Bros are performing their new single and Miley Cyrus is up for best new pop or something like that.

Taylor Launter (Jacob Black, Twilight) is sitting behind the girl who kissed a girl and she liked it, Katy Perry. (But who truthfully didn’t actually ever kiss a girl so doesn’t really know what she’s on about, so whatevs.)

BRITNEY JUST WON BEST POP! After 16 nominations in previous years, and she thanks God first and foremost, and her babies and she is giving the award to her fans.

Ok, I haven’t mentioned this already, but Russel Brand is actually a really annoying host. Sorry, there’s so much going on to keep up with. Hahaha. OH PETE WENTZ! He’s rather pretty. He’s talking about Miley Cyrus.

Katy Perry is going to sing Like a Virgin tonight, covering Madonna, and that’s where my title cae from… a very poor joke by Russel Brand. Seriously man, SHUT UP and bring Robert Pattinson out! I NEED EYE CANDY! Also, don’t cut him off like I know you’re going to do. He has a very sexy british accent, unlike yours, and should be heard by all for ever. Also, Katie is humiliated for you and the UK, Russel Brand. Go away, yo. And your haircut DOES look like a hobos so whatevs in your face!

This list of nominees is so poor I haven’t even barely paid attention to it. Best Male Video… How about best objectification of women with bad music?

Katie is getting frustrated because she can’t see the fans, the common people, the crowd. It’s just the famous people. I don’t care, as long as I see Rob.

OMG THE JONAS BROTHERS! YAY! THEY’RE ON NOW! YAY! Who’s Taylor Swift? She’s introducing them. I don’t care about her. Excuse me, put on the Joe Bros! WHOA! JOE BROS! Whoa! Look at that tiny little electic guitar. Like an electric ukelele. They’re singing to me, I’m sure of it. Wheeee! lol. Oh look, Kevin is playing the tiny little electric ukelele! Amazing!

WHOA! Suddenly the whole set just changed and people are RUNNING at the Joe Bros! And they’ve swapped guitars, they have real big manly guitars now! WHOA! People climbing out of windows! WHOA! WHOA! Yeah man, that’s what happens when you hold the VMAs in Hollywood, I tell ya. A riot, all around. Katie is excited, she found the crowd.

Katy Perry only wears little body suits, does she have nothing else in her wardrobe? Seriously, Katy Perry, get a stylist, or some new clothes. And she has like a sparkly sequined banana on her outfit, that she’s peeling. How phallic, Katy Perry. You’re so sexual and girl-kissing but not really. Epic phail.

OH NO! Dad’s changed the channel! NO! GO BACK! GO BACK!

Look, it’s an Olympian. Now we all know how I feel about Olympians. He’s introducing some singer I don’t know. I don’t know why I watch these shows, seriously, I don’t even like this music. (Well, except Miley Cyrus and the Joe Bros, that’s it.) WHOA! It’s a tiny little midget without a shirt on! Looks like Nathan. Oh and his pants are so low that his whole ass is hanging out and his bum in his tightie blackies is kind’ve saggy baggy, looks like he’s pooped his pants. WHOA! Fully dressed man just joined him on stage. Is this some kind of comparison thing? Two very different men, one naked, one dressed, singing together. How deep and symbolic, MTV.

Ok, Russel Brand just complimented their dancing. Was that dancing? Weird. I thought it was an epileptic fit.

I’m counting down the time until Twilight are on. They’ll be on soon. YAY!

The Pussycat Dolls just thanked the troops in Iraq for their award. Uh-huh.

TWILIGHT IN SIX MINUTES!
MILEY CYRUS IN 19 MINUTES!
MADONNA’S ONLY GOT FOUR MINUTES!

The voice over just totally ragged on Harry Potter, bitches, Harry Potter is the greatest thing ever in the world next to me, don’t diss it.

This has to be my longest post yet. It’ll be done in an hour, when this show ends. OOH YAY! It’s time for Rob! Pete Wentz, get off the stage, I know you’re pretty cool and Fall Out Boy-ish but you’re not Rob! BRING ROB ON!

GET THE FUCK OFF THE STAGE RUSSEL BRAND! SERIOUSLY!
OMG THEY’RE HERE

THEY’RE HERE!

SHUT UP EVERYONE!

YAY! YAY! YAY!

Rob is so hot.

OH MY GOD! SIXTUPLE TWILIGHT! The screen just showed SIXTUPLE TWILIGHT! That’s Rob six times across my screen! Too bad RUSSEL BRAND just cut his sexy British accent off with that annoying one. So frustrating.

Paramore is singing about the business of misery, Miley is on in 12 mins. Paramore are wearing tight yellow jeans. Uh huh. Man she has a big voice.

WHOA! There’s the rent-a-crowd again! They ran pretty fast across town! Seriously, apparently this particular performance is blocks away from where the Joe Bros were. Insane. Rent-a-crowds move fast.

Miley is singing 7 things in 8 minutes. YAY!

Linkin Park won best rock video. They’re not even rock, they’re just crap.

YAY! MILEY!

My god Russel Brand, leave Miley Cyrus alone, ffs. She’s so much cooler than you, her alter ego is famous!

Wait… what?

They promised me Miley singing and all I got was Miley introducing Pink! RIDICULOUS! THAT IS NOT COOL! THAT’S SUPER UNAWESOME! Seriously.

Change the channel during Pink, do not care about Pink and her throwing things at mirrors. Vain, having mirros on stage, so vain.

Katie’s keeping me posted, as dad is watching the footy. Seriously, it’s Monday night. Not a footy night! Apparently, Pink has just stripped from her dress into a leotard. Trying to be sexual like Katy Perry, are you Pink? Do you wanna kiss a girl and like it too?

I MISSED THE TING TINGS! No fair! I love the Ting Tings!
I ALSO JUST MISSED MCLOVIN! WHAT?! I do not want to watch the football. I want to watch McLovin. It’s ok, I found the clip on YouTube. Man I love the interwebs. I’ll comment on it later.

Hey! This girl hast just come on and defended the Joe Bros promise to be a virgin rings. Hahaha, in your face Russel Brand, she doesn’t like you either! She doesn’t wanna be a slut like you.

Some guy is singing about how I can do whatever I like. Yeah well, if I could do that, I’d get this without having to jump through to the footy that isn’t even the real footy. I don’t watch faux-footy, thank you very much.

He’s singing in the backlot. He’s in a sexy car in the backlot. They’re gonna have sex in the backlot? This has children watching. HE’S DRIVING AND SINGING INTO A HAND HELD MICROPHONE! That’s ridiculous! Like… wait… The car is on one of those moving things. Hollywood is full of lies.

Oh! Whoa! It’s that song that goes miyah hee miyah ooh miyah ahh miyah ah ah! Rhianna is back, she’s singing again. She sounds much better this time around, less sick. She has also gotten rid of her thunder thighs that spilled over the top of her thigh high boots from before. Good choice, Rhianna.
WHOA! Midget man in a glowing light. And there are the Joe Bros dancing to Rhianna and the tiny man. Same man from before? I’m not sure. They’re both small.

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL IN 5 MINUTES! YES! I love HSM! Seriously, can you feel the excitment I’m feeling? You should! This is so cool.

HSM IS IN THE HOUSE! They look so old. So old. They’re introducing X-Tina. She’s singing some really disturbing song. Man, her and Rhianna should’ve talked before, because Rhianna’s disturbia was full on and leather clad and spooky just like this. Boring. One of you needs to think of your own ideas.

Notice, HSM were not interupted like Twilight? Seriously, Twilight are far superior – althought HSM are cool – and Rob > Zac Efron.

This post is getting way too long to manage. I might have to go back and edit it when the VMAs are over, and give you guys just the bear necessities (the simple bear necessities of life) so that you know what went on.

I’m missing Chace Crawford! If I remember, he’s a hottie. WHY AM I MISSING THE EYE CANDY! My god!
It’s ok, there’s a photo of him on the website.

I think I’ll critique the fashion after this, because I feel like it and because I love Miley’s dress.

YO YO YO YO YO! Yeah, just stand there, man in the green shirt, and scream YO YO YO YO into a microphone. You’re so trendy. LL Cool J. Yeah, you even let people know you’re cool in your name.

PARIS HILTON! And her new show BFF! Cos everyone wants to be Paris Hilton’s BFF?

Best Pop Video! JOE BROS! Britney. Tokio Hotel??? Danity Kane??? Panic! At the Disco.

GO JOE BROS! Come on! WIN JOE BROS!

Britney won again! Man, why is this Britney’s year? Why is she speechless? Why wasn’t Britney’s year the year of HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME?

There’s a band called Metro Station. God, just change your name to Metrosexual and be done with it!

Russel Brand, I’ve been avoiding you, by watching the footy – but not voluntarily. I would avoid you voluntarily though.

WHOA! DRAKE AND JOSH! Hahah, Josh looks like a mafia dude and Drake looks like a nerd. They’re here to present KID ROCK! Kid Rock is poor. He’s holding a cup, mum reckons he’s drinking water, that’s why he’s got a paper towel wrapped around it. To hide the fact that he’s not as hardcore as he thinks he is. Poor effort, Kid Rock. And sing one of your own songs, right. Go back to your Sweet Home Albama.

Hey! It’s Wil.I.Am! He’s singing with Kid Rock. Why? I thought you had some Dign.I.Ty, Wil.I.Am.

Best Video is about to be announced. Most of these songs are really poor. Ok, the Ting Tings are so awesome… wait why did Britney win? Again, why is this Britney’s year?

GO AWAY RUSSEL BRAND! Oh good, he’s going. Look, he’s leaving. With Britney. Fantastic.

Kanye West is closing the show. What happened to Miley? Excuse me, I got gipped. I watched this whole thing, and I didn’t get Miley. Yes, I got Twilight and the Joe Bros, but I WANTED MILEY!

Kanye is singing some poor song about whatever, so whilst the VMAs wrap up for 2008, I’ll wrap up this incredibly long blog.

Stay tuned for my VMA fashion critiquing in the next post.

xoxo

I know I may have vaguely stated that I’d quit the Twi-posts. But seriously, I can’t not say anything.

Due to some twat-head who has gone and posted Midnight Sun on the internet (Meyer’s Twilight from Edward’s point of view), Stephenie Meyer has indefinately put the completion, editing and publication of the book on hold.

This could mean we never see Midnight Sun. And I am seriously about ready to jump on a plane and go and SLAUGHTER whoever uploaded it initially and whoever has passed it on. You ruined it for the rest of the world and god I hope you have trouble sleeping at night.

It’s so awful that Meyer’s been so upset by this, and if she wants to sue, I’ll be her lawyer. (Mind you, she’ll have to wait for me to finish my degree and articles first!)

You can read about it on her website, http://www.stepheniemeyer.com, it’s really sad that she’s been so affected by this and now we all have to suffer because of a few dickheads. (Yes I really am repeating myself, but I’m so pissed off.) Hopefully this indefinateness doesn’t last too long.

As with the rest of the Twi-community, I’m sending my love in her direction and eagerly await whatever comes next. (Even though I know it won’t be Edward-related.)

Signing off.

weheartstephenie
figure 4: The Twilight Community (including me so much) still love SM!